Diana Dares

Foiling Chicanery with Boundless Intelligence, Fashionable Outfits, Moxie, and One Sporty Blue Roadster.

Monday, September 25, 2006

...and the Mystery of the False Familiars

Everyone warns you about Hollywood. You'll get stabbed in the back. Oh, the slicksters will sell you out with a smile. People repeat the hoary cliches again and again.

Now truthfully, television BARELY counts as Hollywood. And I have met so many lovely, creative, fun, genuine people since moving here. And I'm trying to concentrate on that fact, because....they don't seem to be where I work.

I am surrounded by people who can't quite hide the gleam in their eyes as they stare at the target on my back. People I've made an effort to get to know and be friendly with. In each case, I thought of the person as a friendly coworker -- same team! -- and in a couple of cases, I absolutely considered ourselves friends.

I know when things changed (beginning of last week), but I don't know why, exactly. It's clear there's been talking between parties. And I am trying hard not to take things personally, because truly, with human beings, you never know the full story with someone. People have a million things on their mind, not all of which can be me. I could be making assumptions, being paranoid, or just taking small moments too personally.

But it's disheartening, because who wants to go to work surrounded by circling vultures? And if this is what it's like at the assistant level, you know it doesn't get any easier moving up. It's also unnecessary -- we're not fighting for a limited number of positions; we all have jobs and (one would think) would want to make that as pleasant an experience as possible.

It makes me sad. It makes me reconsider all my friendships. All of them, not just the ones at this workplace. Maybe I can't ever really be honest with anyone with whom I work. Maybe I can't expect the level of loyalty and trust I am generally inclined to give (until I have a reason not to) from other people. Maybe the only friends with whom I can be open are George and Bess and people who have nothing to do with "the industry" at all. But that is just about impossible for me. I can't really keep up the aloof routine very well; I have a pretty open personality, being the vivacious titian-haired girl that I am.

It also makes me angry, because I've tried to be a good friend and now feel that I will be screwed over by that very impulse. For trusting that I had found some like-minded souls.

Don't be self-deprecating. Don't apologize. Don't whine. Don't volunteer information -- about yourself, your friends, your show, your theories.

That is where my investigation has led.

3 Comments:

  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Askinstoo said…

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  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Askinstoo said…

    Very nice! I found a place where you can
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    to see what's available in your area.
    I made over $900 last month having fun!
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  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger procrastinatrix said…

    :(

    Want me to beat them up for you? I'm stronger than I look.

     

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